My friend Sam and I were bouncing around ideas about how we plan to make this year super awesome. 

He mentioned that one of his goals for the year was to find and pursue the thing that most makes “time melt” for him. As he explained it, when time melts, that’s when he knows he is doing what he loves and fully engages him. 

Joseph Campbell said follow your bliss. Tony Robbins and a gazillion others talk about finding your passion. Flow state is the term of the moment in peak performance circles.
At the end of the day it’s all the same sentiment. Still, it’s important to find the words that resonate truthfully with us.  

Sam found the words that work for him and that will pull him toward his goals.
Once he found the right words, it turned out that he already knew what makes time melt for him. Music.

It’s interesting that he had a goal to find out what he already knew. Once we started talking about what it might be that makes time melt for him, he clearly and succinctly identified it in seconds.

I find the same is true for me. I know but I don’t do.

Why do we make it so hard to do the things that engage us fully?
Seems like it should be so obvious to us that we would just prioritize it. Right?

For both of us, the answer was staring us right in the face and still we weren’t going for it. Not to say that we need to make our lives a vehicle for our passions. Some people argue for that but I’m not one of them.

I’m more of the school that thinks we should make “sacred” or “non-negotiable” time to do the things that engage us to our core because those are the things that give us the energy to make other parts of our life work.

I often think about how people from earlier times knew so much. Think of trying to read a book from the 1800s or early 1900s. How much latin do you have to look up (google translate I guess)? How many allusions are there to other authors and history and the philosophy and science of the day? A lot in my experience. How were so many people polymaths? 

The depth and breadth of great minds was and is immense. 

Look at all of the stuff Leonardo DaVinci and Michelangelo were amazing at. They were unusual talents but they only had the same amount of time as the rest of us.

What did they have that I lack.
Sometimes I wonder if it is the ability to focus and forget about the distractions around me. My mind flits off at the slightest provocation. I waste time. So much time!

I live in the wrong era to have a flighty mind. Maybe you do too. Right now is the golden age of distraction. Social media, binge watching, music streaming, books on tape, and a gazillion other things. 

Personally, I need to make a special point to do just one thing. The temptation is to multi task. For me, that is putting in the time at a couple of things, simultaneously, and not getting the full benefit or enjoyment of either.

I think back to my childhood when I would spend hours and hours for days and months designing my dream houses and drawing them on graph paper. Or, the weeks I would spend designing a campaign for Dungeon and Dragons. Designing dungeons and populating them with monsters and treasure and surprises consumed me. I went deep in concentration and effort and enthusiasm. 

And, I never felt like I was missing out.

Now my day is a series of check boxes. Yep, did that task. Check. Time to check my email. Oops, push that “to do” to tomorrow because I got “busy” doing a personality quiz on Facebook.

These days, I find it hard to make enough time for anything. I feel that there is always a time deficit. 

That’s a feeling not a reality.

Trust me, for most of us there is enough time. I did a lot at the office today but I also wasted at least an hour checking the news or stock prices and erasing emails. That’s an hour I could have done something else. That isn’t even taking into consideration the time that I had to spend getting back on track after I was distracted or distracted myself.
And today wasn’t a particularly egregious wasting of time by my recent historical standards and still extrapolating out that is 9 standard work weeks in a calendar year.

If I earned all of that time I wouldn’t suck at Japanese anymore. It’s so obvious but still I find myself losing the battle with distraction and wasted time.

My wife is constantly commenting that she feels too busy to do this and that but still she found time to binge watch six seasons of Downton Abbey in a few weeks last fall. She’s not alone. It is becoming a badge of honor to binge watch. Six seasons of Downton Abbey is 56 hours…I googled the answer (when I was feeling distracted). 

Is watching TV bad? Not necessarily. But, accepting binge watching as a way of life is not normal! It the result of science, advertising, and the power of suggestion being turned-on us to keep our Pavlovian responses in overdrive.

Most of our busyness is choice. It’s poor prioritizing. It’s not having a plan. Things are complicated by how much money and effort is poured  into playing our subconscious like a virtuoso by people who we should never give that permission to.

The reason why it was so easy for us to figure out what makes us feel alive is that we know all along. We let ourselves be distracted and distraction is the easy road. We just don’t make it a priority or have a plan for battling it.

Understandable. The forces that want to distract us have vast resources and motivation. How many notifications do you have on your phone? How many times did social media pull you in today? How many times did you check CNN to see if the President did anything that you can be irate about on FB?

We want to do the things that when we are engaged in them we can be 100% engaged and still we set our lives up so that time gets sucked away from us by things that are actually less important to us and more important to some algorithm and a businesses’ bottomline.
​
There is so much dumbness in the world already. Let’s not add to it. Let’s do more of what we know is good for us and less of what we know are doomed to regret.

Long before I realized that I had a crazy deep interest in health and tuned up living, I had a short bout of teenage rebellion that lasted about as long as it takes for lagoon-blue dye to fade from a college freshman’s hair. 

My rebellion was acted out on the campus of a small Christian liberal arts college in the midwest. As far as places to rebel go, I highly recommend it. On a campus where uniformity is worshipped, it is incredibly easy to stand out and standing out bestows an amazing  education.

Blue-headedness pushed me into a spotlight I had never expected. My intention was just to experience a different me.

Standing out invited a level of scrutiny that I shouldn’t have been surprised to receive. So much of what I did was watched with curiosity and, I imagined, judged through a different lens than my blonde self would have been.

I learned to be comfortable with being watched and maybe even judged solely on appearances. I came to enjoy standing a little bit apart.

For me, it was a bold expression of drawing a line in the sand and saying, “this is who I am.” 


With that declaration came many discussions about my views and motivations and aspirations. I was forced to really think deeply and try to explain my positions on many things, including about my choice of hair color. I learned to embrace the choice that I had made even when it didn’t make sense to others.

Some of the attitudes that I began to hone during that brief rebellion still serve me well in my ongoing attempts at living a Tuned Up Life.

These days, in a time when there is more information available than we can process. When everyday brings a new fad to make us happier or skinnier or more entrepreneurial. When too many food companies seem less interested in nourishment than in irresistibility. When too many entities are seeking to have us addicted to whatever it is they are peddling, being healthy and taking charge of our lives can feel like an act of rebellion.

I say, embrace the rebellion. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first time or the five-hundredth time. Stand up, stand out and be who you want to be. Use rebellion to make life better.


Here are 3 ways that teenage rebellion prepares us to lead a Tuned Up Life.

1. Ability to be at peace living with your own style: Being a rebel means standing apart from the majority. Just the fact that we have chosen to rebel means that we have accepted that we are going to be seen as different. This attitude will serve us well when we choose a different path toward food, health and life. 

When those around you are letting market forces dictate choices, your teenage rebellions have instilled in you a comfort level with being a version of yourself that you have chosen, even when it that means bucking the the current zeitgeist.


2. Skill in expressing the reasons for the stands you take: Once we chose to take a different path, people are likely to have questions and opinions regarding our choices. Hopefully, over the course of our teenage rebellions we developed the ability to clearly explain our positions. (Caution: it’s possible that explaining your choices to your parents never gets easy.)

It’s okay to rebel in small ways. However, sometimes we want to rebel to change the world. We do that first by changing our little world before moving on to the big stuff. 

When we want to be a catalyst for change, we need to be able to communicate and to inspire change in others. Harness the boldness and passion of a teenage rebellion as you express yourself and spread your message.


3. Passion for personal evolution: When I dyed my hair blue, it wasn’t really about the color. The change was a conscious choice to mark a change in attitude. In retrospect, what I was doing seems clear. At the time I just thought I was being cool. 

I was embarking on a path of personal evolution that was about moving away from family and old friends for the first time and establishing myself in a different arena. 

When I say personal evolution, what I am referring to is making a mental shift in who we are or how we show up in the world. For so many of us, that first rebellion, be it at 13 or 19 or even beyond sets the stage for who we become. 


The rebellion is the action, the evolution is the lasting change that can arise because of the rebellion.

​
To stay at the top of our game throughout life requires constant rebellions and evolutions. Sometimes those evolutions are small and barely noticeable. Other times they completely change the course of our lives. No matter if they are big or small, always engaging with the fire and passion that we brought to our youthful rebellions will propel us toward evolutions that lead to a Tuned Up Life.

​It was awesome. The first morning on a work trip to Marina Del Rey California I woke up at 6am and went for a 25 minute run. Nothing much. It didn’t even tire me out but it felt spectacular.

The next day I did the same. And, the next and the next, and every day until I packed up and headed back home to NYC, 12 days later.

Even though I really enjoy running, it was my longest streak, by at least 10 days, since the year 2000. 


A Screeching Halt
I rode the momentum, basked in the glow of the positive feelings and continued to run every day, right?
Nope. Not even close. As quickly as I had started the streak (I could even call it a short lived habit), I ended it. 
In the first week that I was back at home, I ventured out to run one measly time.
I had hoped to keep going.
And, why wouldn’t I. The results had been 100% positive. There was absolutely no way that the streak had negatively impacted my life. Even the time it took everyday felt like it paled in comparison to the jump I experienced in productivity.


Why?
Something common happened. More accurately, something didn’t happen and it was my own doing.
I didn’t plan or prepare for when real life situations challenged my “fantasy life’ running streak.
Technically, I was on a work trip but in reality it was a vacation from my normal reality. My obligations were simply to work and be ready to work hard the next day. 
I found myself relieved of the usual work of being a responsible husband and member of my community.  
Sometimes we just fall into patterns that make life good, without even trying. 
That’s what happened to me. A novel set of circumstances freed me to temporarily live a fantasy life where running every day was a piece of cake.
Patterns that evolve out of these fantasy life experiences almost never become lasting changes. At some point, the new pattern just bashes in to old patterns and the old patterns win.
My case is just another example. Odds are you have a couple of stories your own.


What could have turned the tables
Failure doesn’t need to be the result when old patterns collide with new ambitions. 
This applies even when we luck into a behavior change or good habit unexpectedly. 
What is needed is a plan for the day when the luck that got the ball rolling, runs out.
With some forethought, we can transition things from our fantasy lives into real life. 
The conventional wisdom is that real and enduring change takes focus, attention and planning. It’s almost guaranteed to be hard sometimes.
 And, most of the time we don’t want hard (unless maybe it is a 30 dollar spin class or silent meditation retreat where we have money and time the line and a soundtrack to keep us distracted).


***A funny side-note to this story is that last January, I put together a video series called “Restart Your Resolution.” The purpose of the series was to step by step develop a mindset and environment so that anyone can make big life changes, even when we have failed before.
I wanted to make a quick and easy guide. That idea is funny in retrospect. Turns out that quick and easy and mindset change don’t really go together.
Making life changes stick is something that I am more than mildly obsessed with. RYR as I called it ending up being crazily gun ho…and more time consuming than expected.
The result was a 10 part series of videos and exercises.
If you like the long challenging route to long term change try it out. It’s free! Try it here.***


Back to the story…
Because I didn’t have a plan for continuing when I was back in my daily routine, I didn’t continue. Like yours, my real life is full of stuff to do and if I don’t find a way to prioritize something new, it’s not going to happen.
I always say that having a solid plan and amazing motivation is what it takes to stick with something new. 
I’ve even been know to say that even a so-so plan will probably succeed with the right motivation but even an amazing plan that lacks the proper motivational component will go down in flames.
That’s what I usually prescribe to people I work with. The slow methodical, conventional approach.
But, it’s not the only method.


The Brute Force Method
Brute force isn’t my favorite way to make a change but many successes have resulted from this method.
We could probably also call it the manly method because it’s a default for many of us guys. 
In a nutshell, the brute force method is just the wisdom of the old Nike commercials that employed us to “Just do it.” 
No need to overthink things. Just do it.
Tired. Just do it.
Wearing the wrong shoes. Just do it
 We just decide to do it and then we do. Pondering motivations and cost/benefit analysis and fun is completely unnecessary.


Schedule Brute Force
The reason brute force often fails is that one needs an all-in attitude. 
If I’m tired or sick or something more fun comes along, I still need to act. 
The motivation that can be garnered by methodically preparing the mind before implementing a new habit is stripped away. There is no ten part series on how to use brute force.
If you are the type of person who can do something simply because you say you will do it, brute force has a chance working.
Pick a time for whatever it is you want to do, put it on the calendar and “Just Do It!”
Brute force is on my calendar at 6:45 on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday is an appointment to run for 30 minutes. It even has a reminder set for the night before.


Can Brute Force Go the Distance?
It is possible to make lasting changes through brute force. 
Often, if we do something long enough it does become a habit. Sometimes we even start liking it and taking pride in it. 
When that happens, we get all of the benefits of developing a new habit without the time spent preplanning (that I usually encourage).
The draw back is that forcing ourselves to do things can be soul sucking. For most of us, soul sucking is not a precursor to success.
Some people, though, like my good friend Dave, find the discipline of the brute force method attractive. 
If you are that type of person, you may get a strange satisfaction and a does of success by employing brute force.


Should You Try It?
If employing brute force is the difference between starting and not starting, then the answer is YES! 
​
Let me know how it goes.

When people hear that I have happily eaten gluten-free for over four years they often ask me, “Don’t you miss bread and pasta and cookies?” 

After pointing out that there are gluten-free versions of all of those things (which I rarely eat ), I answer that, “yes, sometimes I miss the things that I choose not to eat. But it isn’t difficult for me to pass them by.”
​
For me, a warm piece of sourdough bread with a heaping serving of butter has ceased to be a temptation and is now just a fond memory from the past. I’m lucky. It isn’t always easy to give up the things we enjoy, even if it is for a good cause.

The temptations involved with eating gluten free are not any different from other temptations. It’s my belief that the issue isn’t really about missing a food (or activity, or cigarette or binge watching CNN).

The real issue is the drama or lack of drama that we bring to the tempting situation.
Big drama brings a big emotional component. This leads to Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), feeling like a victim and a high likelihood of giving in to whatever we have vowed to avoid.

Lack of drama, on the other hand leads to calm choices and maybe even fond memories of eating mom’s perfectly crunchy chocolate chip cookies...minus the need to indulge.
So, what causes big drama versus lack of drama?

I believe that big drama occurs when our haven’t made our NEW behavior more emotionally appealing than my OLD behavior. As soon as my new behavior no longer elicits a big emotional response, it’s easy to not be tempted by by the pasta bolognese, chocolate cake or whatever the stimulus happens to be.

In reality, this is just another way of expressing the old adage “you just have to want it bad enough.” When we want something bad enough, we just do what needs to be done without making big deal about it. 

When I want the “benefit” of being gluten free bad enough, I will just make the gluten free choice every time. Wanting something badly is a crazily emotional situation.

On the other hand, if I still want the warm fresh gluten saturated bagel badly and at the same time feel like I should eat the scrambled eggs because that’s the gluten free option available at the moment, drama is going to play out between the old and the new. 

I’ll probably find my self eating the bagel because emotion almost always trumps reason. 
If I do manage to shun the bagel, there’s a good chance I’ll feel like I’m missing out and am a victim of what I SHOULD do. With this attitude it’s only a matter of time before I give up the quest.

Fortunately, I will be eating the scrambled eggs every time. I DO have massive emotional attachment to the benefits that I get from being gluten free. Because I laid the groundwork for my change of habit early, I don’t have FOMO or feel like a victim when I choose not to eat it. 

Simple right? Make a plan, get emotionally attached and avoid drama, live happily ever after. 

In theory it’s easy. Still, you must prepare.
​
Because you want success…
Because you know you will be tempted…
Because you don’t know when the temptation will come…


Try this three part Tune Up in preparation for making a change:
1. Establish clear reasons for what you are doing.
2. Make sure that at least some of the reasons resonate emotionally. Your head (and facts) will get you started but your emotions will get you to the finish line.
3. Notice when you start feeling dramatic. Pause. Pause some more. Feel the emotions that will turn your temptation into a fond memory.


***For the record, I don’t advocate a gluten-free life style for everyone. Before trying it, learn about the pros and cons to see if it’s right for you. And, be aware that it is just as easy to have an unhealthy gluten free diet as it is to have an unhealthy gluten-full diet.***

On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century by Timothy Snyder

1. Don’t obey in advance.
2. Defend Institutions.
3. Beware the one-party state.
4. Take responsibility for the face of the world.
5. Remember Professional Ethics.
6. Be wary of Paramilitaries.
7. Be reflective if you use be armed.
8. Stand out.
9. Be kind to our language.
10. Believe in truth.
11. Investigate.
12. Make eye contact and small talk.
13. Practice Corporeal Politics.
14. Establish a private life.
15. Contribute to good causes.
16. Learn from peers another countries.
17. Listen for dangerous words.
18. Be calm when the unthinkable arrives.
19. Be a patriot.
20. Be as courageous as you can.

It’s been a year where none of us has been able to take our eyes of the political landscape.

​Alternative Facts, policy tweets, special prosecutors and election meddling are just the tip of the iceberg. 

Could the seeds of tyranny be lurking in the little things we do or don’t do?

According to Tom Snyder, the answer is yes. His book On Tyranny instructs about how as it is becoming more mind bending to imagine where things are headed, we need to be vigilant and disciplined in our thoughts and actions.

It is a practical guide to things every individual can do to keep tyranny at bay. Even if one doesn’t believe America is on the doorstep of a tyrannical society, the book provides
valuable pointers for behaving and thinking rationally and responsibly in the world. 

No matter what our politics, we can learn from this book. Supporters of our current president will have to endure the many times Snyder invokes him as an example. Still, the standards he espouses should be accepted practices that transcend political party.
The actions he urges us to take don’t only help fight tyranny. They allow us to uphold things that have made and will continue to make the USA a great country.

Above is the list of the twenty chapters. Each one is short. The entire book can be read in less than two hours. I listened to it on audible, multiple times. Even played at 1.5X speed it is easy to understand.

Just perusing the chapter titles might stir something in you. 

I guarantee that experiencing the entire book will disabuse you of some lazy mental habits and help you take more control for creating the world that you want to live in.

Give it a chance and Tune Up your thinking.

​
​In my lifetime, there are two Presidential concession speeches that I clearly remember.
They stand out in my mind because in their lowest moments, having failed in their quests for a long term dream these candidates re-found the best versions of themselves.
 
As his 1996 Presidential campaign crept toward defeat, Bob Dole utilized the same losing strategy that Hilary Clinton would employ in 2016. While a candidate is never a sure-fire prospect, there are things that can make voting for a person more difficult. A common method for this is to not be oneself. Both Dole and Clinton started chasing versions of themselves that they believed other people would like better than what they truly were. 
 
But, in defeat, both of them showed that they could be presidential. In defeat, they chose to lead. They urged us to stand on the high ground. And, they meant it.
 
Their election night concession speeches were honest, thoughtful, wise. They strove to bring people together. Both Dole and Clinton showed that, at least on that on that particular night, they possessed the best qualities of American leadership.
 
Below is a list of ten commonalities of both speeches. 
 
Some of the qualities you, undoubtedly, make part of your daily life. I challenge all of us to employ this list to make an even greater effort to be our best selves. Do these things and we won’t have to wait for defeat to be who the world needs us to be.
 
Kudos to all of you who already do these things.
​Kudos to all of us who strive to Tune Up what we offer to the world.

1. Thank the people who help you.
2. Thank the people who succeed, even when they succeed and you don’t.
3. Be open about your struggles and what you have learned. Reaffirm that even in defeat you haven’t given up on your vision.
4. Give up any anger against your opposition and give them the chance to succeed, and hold them accountable for what the things to do. Ask your supporters to do the same.
5. Reflect on what has happened, what is the same and what has changed.
6. Vow to continue to stand up for what is right in America.
7. Encourage everyone to come together to get things done.
8. Reaffirm that the race is not for personal victory to for the vision and values we want to uphold.
9. Share with others the gratitude you feel.
10. Reaffirm your vision and dedication to creating a better future.

 
The speeches:

• Hillary Clinton Speech
• Bob Dole Speech

​Recently, I had the profound pleasure hiking on the Appalachian trail with my good friend Matsubayashi. He has dreamed of hiking the Appalachian Trail since long before I met him 17 years ago.

We met while living in Japan and have spent many amazing days hiking together on the island of Kyushu in South-Western Japan. Matsubayashi has always been the trip planner and, finally, it was awesome to get to return the favor.
​
​His ultimate dream has been to hike from end to end, the entire 2100+miles of the Appalachian Trail. Life circumstances made that impossible on this trip but we did get to rub elbows with a few of the through hikers attempting the entire trail.

Hiking from Georgia to Maine is a monumental undertaking. We found ourselves in awe of the commitment and perseverance of these men and women who were uprooting their lives for six months or more to make their dreams come true.

Below are four pieces of wisdom from encounters with four different through hikers revealed , to us, along the trail.

Some of you know that my health story was an exercise in frustration for many years.
I was never critically ill. It was more of a slow slide from feeling amazing to poorly functioning. I could usually get through the day but it required more and more trade-offs.  One by one I gave up my hobbies that required physical effort and the foods and drinks that I loved. 
Those changes worked for a while. I was holding steady but I wasn’t getting “healthy”.
I wasn’t trying to go it alone. I had been diligent about going to the doctor. Frustratingly, I had received no diagnosis.  All tests pointed health within the normal range. It wasn’t the normal I aspire too, though.
Often, I was told some form of, “you will be the healthiest person who comes to see me today.”  Still, hearing that didn’t help me get back to running marathons or having beers and nachos with friends. 
The things that affected me were beyond the scope of what my allopathic/Western doctors were equipped to deal with.
These days, I feel like I am getting back to being the healthy person I know I should be. It’s been a long journey that has resulted in taking much more responsibility for my health care.
One of the many turning points in finding satisfaction and relief was learning how to get the most from what allopathic doctors offer. For too long I showed up to appointments with the idea that the doctor was a magician who could fix me. Turned out that wasn’t true.
Luckily, I never gave up on conventional Western medicine and it ended up being part of the solution for me. At this point, it has been a mix of Western and alternative  practitioners who have me on the comeback trail.


Understanding  and Working with Allopathic/Western Medicine
This post is intended to be a quick start guide working with your allopathic physician.
And, I have an extra treat for you. The insights of a professional. Many of my posts are based solely on my personal experiences. This one started out the same way…and then Dr. Molly stepped into give expert perspective.
Dr. Molly, is the kind of doctor I would love to have leading my health care team. Unfortunately, she lives on the opposite side of the country from my current home in New York City. Happily, I was able to get her input for this post.
I asked her to tell me what she thought of my ideas for tuning up the way we work with allopathic/Western/conventional physicians to get the care that we desire. She gave me an honest and thought provoking lesson on the medical system that could only come from one who works in the trenches day in and day out. 
Dr. Molly’s quotes are highlighted, feel free to skip right to them.  What she has to say will help you understand and work with your physician much much better.

What is Job #1 for Your Physician/Hospital?
Let’s start with a question. What do you think is job number one for your physician or hospital? Health? Sadly, health is not the main focus of medicine. The focus of current allopathic medicine is on extreme situations. Dr. Molly refers to allopathic medicine as “disaster management and cancer screening.” 
Don’t take this description as a damning indictment of medicine, though. 
“Allopathic medicine,” she continues, “is really good at trauma and surgery, critical illness and treating severe bacterial infections.” 
Those things are the disasters that are the specialty of allopathic care. When there is a disaster, we want disaster care!

Embrace Disaster Care (When Disaster Strikes)
Once we accept that our primary care system is not set up to focus on preventative health and health maintenance, what do we do?
For many of us, our insurance will only cover allopathic care. The choice may be between that and no care at all. Make use of it!
First, embrace and use the system for what it’s good at. When there is a disaster, get help from allopathic medicine ASAP. 
And, don’t expect recovering from disasters to be easy.
Dr. M says, going to the hospital isn’t about health. She says, “I think you go to the hospital to stay alive and it’s going to be hard work and hurt like hell and you won’t sleep and it’s noisy and random people see you naked…but it’s to save your life and prevent you from getting worse.”
Again, remember that Allopathic care is to designed save your life and fix us when we are really broken. 

The health part is completely unnecessary if you don’t survive. That’s why allopathic care is so important. Many of us will turn to allopathic medicine in search of health despite the fact that it is not the ideal system for it. 

It’s not ideal but it can still be a positive force for health if we work at it.

The responsibility to make the system effective for you is your own:

Get a yearly check up when you are feeling good
If you visit your doctor when life is good, you have a better chance to build a relationship based on a healthy you. 
Meeting with your doctor when life is good gives the opportunity to establish a meaningful baseline level of health. “It’s impossible to understand a person in a 15 minute visit. But it’s enough time for the physician to see that you are healthy and spunky and so when you walk in sick, the doc, will notice the difference,” explains Dr. Molly.
Set the appointment up as a “meet and greet” or a “well check.” Make sure the doctor knows that you are coming in to establish a baseline and not because of an existing problem. Being clear about the purpose of your visit is important, “As a physician, when a patient comes to see us we feel like we need to do something and that they want something from us.” 
Let the doctor know what it is that you want. It’s an important part of leading your health care.


Communication
Success with your physician comes down to communication. 
Dr. Molly advises, “In addition to being the leader of your team and being responsible, learn how to talk to your doctor.” This is paramount. Your physician has limited time with you. Spend that time wisely and on the purpose at hand.
Our focus, here, on a healthy visit to the doctor but the advice below is pertinent any time you engage the medical system.
Dr. M also advises to:
-Arrive with questions
-Ask the most important questions first
-Be concise
-Understand that when you are asked what you do for work, the physician doesn’t really care what you do. They are interested in do you do physical labor, sit at desk all day, work with chemicals, perform repetitive motions, etc.
-“Make sure time spent with the physician is you talking about your symptoms and then listening to the doctor.”
-Bring a pen and paper and take notes


Share your preferences
Don’t be shy about your care preferences. Discuss things such as: do you want to take antibiotics every time you have an infection? Would you be open to lifestyle modifications instead of medication for your rising blood pressure? Is speed of recovery paramount or would you be okay with a slower recovery if there were other treatment options? 
Include in the discussion the things you are doing to reach your desired outcomes. Those things could include exercise, nutrition, spiritual life, social circles and education. Seek guidance in how to do those things better. 
Be aware that they may not be able to advise you in those areas. It’s okay, you can find that type of guidance elsewhere if need be. However, it pays to find out what IS and ISN’T in your physicians realm of expertise.
Finally, don’t be a pushy butt head about your preferences. Listen to what they have to say.  Doctors are well trained professionals who know a lot and may have a lot to teach you. 
If you have to be a jerk to be understood, find a new physician who you can work civilly with (or can work civilly with you). It will be better for everyone.


Expand your health team
Don’t be afraid to have a group of people who take care of you. Many of us find that adding a nutritionist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, masseuse, reiki practitioner, personal trainer, and so on to our health care team is beneficial. Often, your insurance can help offset the costs.
Many “vague” problems are helped by alternative medicine. Dr. Molly says that “We (allopathic medical doctors) are NOT good at subtly sick. We have only a small tool bag—some labs and some pills. We can check thyroid and lipids and look for infection and some other things like trying to guess which diseases you might get based family history. But, we feel helpless when someone is in our office saying they are sick and they look fine by our lab tests.”
A word of caution, some doctors don’t like it when you branch out and add alternative complimentary methods to conventional medicine. Inquire with your primary care physician regarding how they feel about this. 
Expanding your health team is an approach is worth considering. It can be done and in my experience it can be worth the hassle and the extra expense. 

Don’t Opt Out. Opt for More.
Don’t abandon the allopathic system. You will need it someday.
Choosing to forgo allopathic medicine completely in favor of alternative medicine is rarely, if ever, a wise choice. Dr. Molly cautions, “I do NOT believe that alternative medicine can cure disasters.” 
She adds, “If your doctor doesn’t support your decision to use other means, get a new doctor. But, don’t expect your poor doctor to know about the other things or be able to comment on them.”
Expanding your health team can include unpaid positions as well. The workout buddy, the friend who brightens your day over a cup of tea, and anyone else who lends support and joy to your life is an indispensable member of your health team.

Never stop doing your own research and keeping up with the new stuff
We are in a golden age of new discoveries and new methods. Keep an eye out for things that might benefit you. Be careful because there is a lot of unsubstantiated crap on the internet that claims to be a magic bullet.  Careful research in the right places can be like finding gold. 
Here are a couple of places to start. I like the magazine What Doctors Don’t Tell You for quick easy reading. Dr. Mercola (not Dr. Molly) has a daily mailing list and website that is well researched. On top of that, there are podcasts and for the seriously studious, there is PubMed, where you can dig directly into the scientific research.
The research you do is for your education. You may be able to use it on your own and you may even want ask your doctor about it. But, Dr M cautions, “just never tell the doctor that you googled something.” It’s a guaranteed conversation stopper. 
And, don’t expect them to know about it. Very few doctors are on the cutting edge. In fact, many doctors aren’t interested in the cutting edge until it has been proved very safe, very effective and has been authorized by higher ups.

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Your health is not something that we can completely outsource. Each of us needs to stay actively involved. For many of us, our health care system isn’t fully equipped to focus on the level of health we desire. Still, it is an essential part of living a long and healthy life. Make use of the system’s prowess in disaster care and, at the same time, have a plan. Be the leader, learn to communicate, build the network and the mindset that you need to maintain and improve your health. 

Did I miss something or get something wrong? Let me know. At TunedUpLife.com we always want to provide the most accurate and useful information that we can. Please email me with questions or comments or topics you would like us to address.

A friend’s Facebook post started my mind thinking about combatting personal kryptonite—the thing that keep us from being our best.

The friend, Sam, was recently diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and is adjusting to a new challenge.
His post was short, “now I unfortunately know firsthand that for the chronically ill, a weekend is not long enough to get stuff done and recharge from/for the week.”
So, what does he do? Search for a new supplement, scour the internet or the bookstore shelves for the newest solution?

Maybe new is best. Maybe not.

I say, first, look to what you know and ask the right question.
 
Doing something that we already know works for us can be a quick and easy solution.
 
One way to approach the challenge is to find the things that you already know can counteract your kryptonite.

Whether it be stress, diet, lack of exercise, lack of energy, depression, too much alone time, too little alone time, noise, dehydration, not listening to others or one of a gazillion other things, we already know something that will improve things.  We may not think we know and we may not want to do what we know, but we know.
 
A simple question to find out what could be our personal best practices.
 
Asking ourselves the right question can get us a long way down the road to a fix.

I like to ask, “If I was really, really, unequivocally serious about [getting healthy, sleeping more, having more energy, etc.], what would I be doing?”

Try it. I’d be willing to wager that you know and will come up with some excellent advice.
Often, the stuff we already know can improve our problem situations in an amazingly efficient way.

Don’t ignore the new, but at the same time acknowledge chasing the new isn’t always the best way to begin. Start with what you know.
 
There’s no time like now. Counteract your kryptonite by following your own advice. Just ask…
 
“If I was really, really, unequivocally serious about (getting healthy, sleeping more, having more energy, saving money, being happy, etc.), what would I be doing?”
 
**Disclaimer** I don’t think that this question is my own creation. Maybe the specific wording is but it’s so good and so useful and has been with me for so long that I’m sure someone much wiser than I said it. Thank you to whoever it was!

Here’s something to ponder…that you already know…but is worth saying anyway.

Just because nobody is stopping you from doing something, or even if you are being actively encouraged, that doesn’t mean it is in your best interest.

The picture above is the refrigerator where I often work in LA. The company goes out of its way to take care of us. I applaud the sentiment and the desire to show us that we are valued employees. Feeling valued on the job makes life so much better.

The free drink selection is meant to be a job perk but I can’t shake the feeling that this perk could be a lawsuit in the future.

There are mountains of evidence that sugary drinks aren’t doing our health any good. The same goes for the artificially sweetened ones. Despite this, the popularity and consumption of them is holding steady.

Is this a case, like cigarettes, where despite the mounting evidence, we don’t change course and if we reap the health-wrecking results we cry foul and turn to the courts seeking justice?

Am I just paranoid?
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Happy Pondering.